The Battlestation
Ignorant, White, Cisgendered, Heterosexual, Ableist Gives His Opinion.

Maybe I’m just not willing to accept the awful shit that happens in the world, but I do not believe we live in a rape culture. I cannot believe 1/4 college women have been raped or almost raped. I may just be an ignorant white, cisgender, heterosexual, ableist, caveman, but the idea of calling rape victims “survivors” is ridiculous. Do we start calling people “mugging survivors” next? Would “battery survivors” make more sense? I don’t believe that women are ever at fault for rape. Rape is the worst crime there is; but I do believe in a modicum of personal responsibility. If you get really drunk, it is still despicable for a man to take advantage of you, but you have to take responsibility for losing your self control. There’s no way what you wear can mean you were “asking for it”. That is stupid and wrong. But maybe it’s not a good idea to be walking down dark alleys at night either? When do we call someone out on their lack of common sense these days? As for patriarchy, I acknowledge that women have a long way to go in politics, but when my province and it’s neighbor to the east have female premiers, the idea of a patriarchy seems laughable. So remember way up at the top of this wall of text when I mentioned ableism? Yeah. Okay. Ableism: according to Wikipedia: “the “ableist” societal world-view is that the able-bodied are the norm in society, and that people who have disabilities must either strive to become that norm or should keep their distance from able-bodied people. A disability is thus, inherently, a “bad” thing that must be overcome. The ableist worldview holds that disability is an error, a mistake, or a failing, rather than a simple consequence of human diversity, akin to raceethnicitysexual orientation or gender.[3]

1) Able-bodied IS the norm in society. That seems really obvious to me. Statistics show that about 20% of the population is disabled in some way. Even taking that number (1 in 5), that means 70% of the population is able-bodied, enough to constitute a double majority and therefore, a norm.

2)People with disabilities SHOULD strive to overcome them! You hear stories all the time about “doctors told me I’d never walk again, just completed a marathon”. If we just sat back and accepted defeat, we would never have had lightbulbs, we wouldn’t have gone to the moon. Jack Layton wouldn’t have run the amazing campaign that led the NDP to become the official opposition for the first time in history if he had just given up! To do anything else seems to lack the indomitability that defines our species.

3)On a scientific level, a disability (assuming one was born with it) IS a mistake. Someone with Downs syndrome, for example, has an extra chromosome. It’s a mutation, plain and simple, and certainly a negative one.

So don’t tell me that ableism is this horrific bigotry equal to racism or sexism, because it isn’t. It’s about facts (able bodiedness is normal, birth defects are exactly what the name implies), and about striving to be better, as everyone should. I know there are some great disabled folks out there, but come on, calling people ableist is a dumb answer to an unasked question.

Speech Time.

We got genocides, mass murders, master criminals in suits that control nations, we’re hurtling through space at Mach 3 and we won’t know if there’s a world shattering rock inbound until ~10 minutes before it hits, we are approaching the capacity of the planet, and are due for a superquake, supervolcano, and superplague. We have enough nukes to destroy 300 Earths and most importantly we are but a microscopic spec of cosmic dust that could STILL be exterminated by a more advanced species like the Native Americans were.

The human mind can literally not comprehend the scope of possible disasters, nor their magnitude.

So why sweat the fucking small stuff?

And it’s ALL small stuff.

We are flawed

No one can be perfectly happy

But we can try

So ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen?

<Insert Answer>

But that’s the thing right?

That’s the worst possible thing.

And how exactly will being 20lbs overweight get you there?

or being a smartass?

or being an ice queen?

or a slut?

or privileged?

If you know, let me in on the secret, because the way I see it, it’s not easy to fuck it up THAT bad.

I speak what’s on my mind.

Where has it gotten me? Hmm…well, I have a small but intimate circle of friends, I’m unhealthy….I really enjoy my days and I’m quite content.

Where has being magnanimous gotten you?

If you don’t like the answer, why don’t you stop trying to be magnanimous and start being whatever you want?

Look, ok, human beings,

Homo sapiens sapiens

We are fleeting.

We exist for a century tops.

Hear me out

There have been a million million centuries.

That number can not be comprehended.

We can’t wrap our heads around it.

It’s like a fruit fly trying to comprehend a year.

Perfection is form, universal and eternal.

We can NEVER be perfect.

We can try to be good.

But trying to attain the unattainable is a Sisyphean task.

You’re still sweating the small stuff.

You have a conservative temporal budget of ten years to figure out what makes you happy.

After that, you’ve probably got another…40 years to figure it out

Aside from shooting up a school or killing yourself, you can’t fuck up permanently

There’s so much time to fix it

You or I will likely never be renowned

But we could be happy

“Have you ever met someone who can actually say they’re happy all the time? It’s impossible

So why chase something you don’t believe in

Or why chase something that will inevitable break”

Because it’s better to have half a chocolate bar than none at all.

And because happiness is more currency than heirloom:

You can’t break it, you can only run out and have to start saving again.

I think it’s safe to say I invented a new tag.

collegehumor:

Happy Valentine’s Day, The Internet!

Smash, Smash, SUH-MASH

collegehumor:

Best Pictures of the Week [Click for the winners]
Discover some more terrifying truths that only the Internet can reveal.

collegehumor:

Best Pictures of the Week [Click for the winners]

Discover some more terrifying truths that only the Internet can reveal.

collegehumor:



More Accurate Titles for 2013’s Oscar Nominated Movies [Click for full list]

Next time you ride with me, okay?

Leaked footage from the new Sherlock Holmes movie.
Sherlock Holmes: Man of Iron.

collegehumor:

Facebook Newsfeed History of the World [Click for full history]
If Facebook had existed during the Big Bang, Ancient Rome, World War II, and the rest of Earth’s major historical events.

And who says you need to pay tens of thousands of dollars and spend eight years learning how to teach this stuff? Hahahahaohgodwhatamigunnado

collegehumor:

Facebook Newsfeed History of the World [Click for full history]

If Facebook had existed during the Big Bang, Ancient Rome, World War II, and the rest of Earth’s major historical events.

And who says you need to pay tens of thousands of dollars and spend eight years learning how to teach this stuff? Hahahahaohgodwhatamigunnado

collegehumor:

Anti-Weed Mom Tweets About the Devil’s Lettuce
Although considering how badly she “wants the D now”? Probably a sexbot.

collegehumor:

Anti-Weed Mom Tweets About the Devil’s Lettuce

Although considering how badly she “wants the D now”? Probably a sexbot.